Photo post, totally devoid of photos.

Sometimes I find that if you need answers then asking someone else for their opinion and then passing it off as your own often works at a push. (  I say potato, you say Plagiarism … and totally ruin the song). Occasionally some moderate re-wording is involved, but basically all that tedious thinking stuff is bypassed, which is something I’m all in favour of… especially when I’m sleep deprived / hormonal / slightly mental / all of the above.

Cue the arrival of today’s Daily Prompt :
“Take a subject you’re familiar with and imagine it as three photos in a sequence. Tackle the subject by describing those three shots.”

Sorry… what ?

I’m familiar with a lot of subjects. My children’s bowel movements, for one, but I doubt very much you’re gonna want photos. Or you might. There are a lot of very strange and depraved individuals on the internet, or so my Mum tells me. But then she also tells me that you can catch a cold by not wearing a scarf, so she might not be the world’s foremost authority on Things You Should Take As Gospel.

So I read this prompt and thought “I know! I’ll ask the family”, though I thought for the sake of clarity that I’d simplify things a bit by asking them “What am I good at?”

Big mistake.

After a long and painfully contribution-free few minutes my children came up with these gems:
Brandon : Playing games on the pc. Papa works. You play.
Lily : Picking food out of your teeth.

Well, cheers guys. No really. No chance of my ego spiralling out of control any time soon here, no siree.
Hubby, on the other hand, has had considerably more experience with delicately tip-toeing around any potential emotional minefields, so he came up with a list of things that he thought I was good at and that wouldn’t shove me headfirst into a mudslide of floundering self-esteem issues. Good save.

None were quite right though. Gesture appreciated, however.

It came to me an hour or so ago. I was going to skip this prompt, but then I came up with an idea. An idea which isn’t particularly humorous ( sorry about that ), or witty ( oops ) or even entertaining ( *apologetic look* ). However, it is honest, it isn’t stolen and refurbished, and it isn’t 3 snapshots of broccoli-infested gums.

What am I familiar with?
I’m familiar with Depression.

Every now and then I write about being a teensy weensy bit mental, and in all honesty I’ve made my peace with the whole issue. It’s not something I’ve done wrong, I do my best not to be a complete nightmare for everyone around me, and I think I cope pretty well. In my opinion, all you can do is cope, and some times you do better than others. Some days it isn’t even an issue and life can be good and fluffy and sugar-coated-doughnutty. And then there are the days that are huge and crushing and there isn’t a pastry in sight… and those are the ones I’m familiar with.

So here are my photos.

Photo 1 :  Black. Nothing to see. Just endless, soul-mashing, lonely, unfathomable black.
Photo 2 :  More Black. It doesn’t end. It just doesn’t. Not ever.
Photo 3:   Black….. with the tiniest spot of grey in one corner. Because whilst the black is still huge and painful, there is hope. There is always hope. Sometimes you have to wait one photo for it… sometimes a whole album. But it’s there. So don’t give up, because you’re not the only one sitting in the dark… there are other people too, you just can’t see them. But when the tiny dot of grey comes you’ll realise that you were never truly alone. You just have to wait.

There you have it. It’s not particularly well worded, and in all honesty it’s not even a new concept, but it is easily forgotten. So if you find yourself sitting in the dark one day, remember that there’s a chance there’s someone else in there with you who’s also having a crappy time of it. But at least you’ll have less mashed vegetation between your teeth, and that’s gotta count for something.

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Warning : Eating live worms may hinder your chances at procreation. Official.

I feel truly awful for having been such a slacker with the daily blog prompts recently. I could fabricate a relatively plausible lie, but the fact is, despite being a bit busy and a little ill, I’m just excuse-making again. This is something I do on a regular basis and it’s formed a firm foundation for my life avoidance manifesto and personal procrastination-friendly lifestyle.This is just not good enough and one of the things I’m hoping to work on this year. So please forgive me if I have a few teething troubles. Getting a life can be a scary process when you’ve spent the last 40 years ducking behind a hedge whenever you see it walking down the street.

So, in an attempt to catch up I shall be answering Prompt 8 AND 9 in this entry. By sheer luck they’re very loosely related ( Maybe second cousins twice removed or something? I always found the description “twice removed”amusing. I never much liked my cousins, not even the one willing to eat live earthworms for a dare, so the thought of having them removed from my vicinity not once but twice – for added emphasis, of course – would make me smirk. On a side note, my worm-devouring cousin got married a couple of years ago after a relationship-free youth. Everyone until that point had just assumed he was gay and in the closet. I, however, knew differently. The truth was that nobody wanted to kiss him because he had worm breath. )

The prompts are : “How do you stay focused on a task or activity?” and “Describe a recent Aha! moment and what sparked it?”

The answer to the former is “I don’t” and the latter is “Aha! I probably need to do something about that… ( see answer 1 )”

I have a truly appalling attention span, I always have had. At school, despite being relatively bright, I did really badly. Or really well, considering that I slept at the back of most of my classes, if you want to look at it that way. Everyone just assumed I was lazy. Lazy! The cheek of it! I don’t like being called lazy, especially when there are so many perfectly good cop-out descriptions that are far more pleasant. Like “Domestically Challenged”. That sort of blatant disregard for my feelings will get you an instant…. well, it won’t get you an instant anything, but I will at the very least put it on my to-do list.

That’s where Prompt 2 comes in… because I really do struggle with staying focussed on anything. Not just the usual stuff everyone wants to avoid ( like cleaning the toilet ) but stuff I actually LOVE doing, like taking photos and rambling on in blogs. So last year I went to the doctors and outlined my problem. Then went to another doctor. And another. And eventually it turned out that I have a “condition” where it’s a well-known symptom to be unable to make decisions and get started on stuff. I can’t help thinking how very different my life would have been if I’d only known that 30 years ago. I might have been an achiever!

That said, my life as it stands is pretty good. Sure, it has crappy moments, but most of them I can see beforehand and manage to step round them before they mash themselves into the sole of my trainers. Life is way too short for regrets and “If onlys”. Today is as good as any day to start that new and pharmaceutically-encouraged lifestyle! One of my favourite movie quotes comes from “Vanilla Sky” and it goes “Every passing minute is another chance to turn it all around.” So why not make that minute…NOW?

OK….Now!

Erm…… Now?

Alright, some time after dinner then. Definitely.