I’m not pished Ossifer, honeshtly.

I’ve got about 10 minutes to do this before I pass out due to vast amounts of alcohol consumption. No, I’m not a raging lush, I just have zero tolerance for the juice, and unfortunately a very hot toddy is about the only thing that’s going to guarantee me any sleep tonight.

Yes, I have another cold. And yes, I do seem to get a lot of them, don’t I ? It wasn’t always this way. As a youngster I was pretty much a picture of health. Then as an adult a decision was made somewhere along the line to let my offspring drain every scrap of resistance out of my body, which I’m pretty certain I wasn’t consulted about. So I’ve had a cold of varying intensities for 15 years now.

I didn’t discover the hot toddy thing until a few years back when I thought I’d try it out on Hubby. His verdict was, “Well, I don’t feel any better but now I just don’t give a crap. Can I have another one?” and I’ve been self-medicating myself with toddies and half a tub of Vitamin C tablets ever since. Unlike Hubby though, I’m not a big fan of alcohol, so I really have to force it down. And I get squiffy really really quickly, so if I suddenly get totally incoherent mid sentence you know why.

The job that I mentioned briefly last night I had to turn down. I can’t really go into details but it just wasn’t a good use of my time, so I’m changing direction and … oh dear, I’ve forgotten what I was going to say. That’ll be the booze. Ooops.

Where was I? Hmmm. Possibly best I don’t try today’s topic in case I end up typing “whoop whoop whoop floooooobity whoop I’m an aubergine arwooooo” or something similar, though the spellcheck says I spelled aubergine correctly so I’m not doing too badly. Though I am sweating and I think one of the legs of my chair has suddenly got a lot shorter. I best go to bed. I promise I shall attempt to produce something a bit more entertaining tomorrow. I think I had something else incredibly important to add to the chicken thing, but I’m buggered if I can remember what it is.