Word-mangling like a boss.

Way, way back when I first started fooling around with the grubby little man-whore that is Facebook ( It’s not a love affair, there’s nothing meaningful in our trysts, it just drags me into the stationery cupboard , uses me for its own devices, and completely prevents me from getting any work done ) one of the very first things I laughed at and re-posted was a list. You may well have seen it knocking about online, but for those that haven’t…this is it:

“The Washington Post’s Style Invitational once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.
Here are this year’s winners:

1. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

2. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

3. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

4. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

5. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.

6. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

7. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn’t get it.

8. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

9. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.

10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

11. Karmageddon: It’s like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it’s like, a serious bummer.

12. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

13. Glibido: All talk and no action.

14. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

15. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you’ve accidentally walked through a spider web.

16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

17. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you’re eating.

[And the pick of the literature:]

18. Ignoranus: A person who’s both stupid and an asshole.

…. all of which I still think are superb 4 years later. My particular favourite is #18 which I occasionally use, mumbled under my breath, in social situations where such creatures freely roam.
I wish I’d thought of any of them. I’d be triple espresso smug with a squirt of whipped smug on top. Alas, no.
But you can probably see why this sprang to mind when faced with today’s Daily Prompt. So without further ado, here are my efforts :

Lickorich allspurts – The act of sucking up to someone with a vast fortune that culminates in a sudden climactic financial deposit.

Piesmograph – Electrical apparatus used to measure how much my stomach rumbles in response to the promise of pastry.

Pomfetti – the tiny little bits of coloured paper Brits like to throw at Australian weddings.

Hawkward – the very close scrutiny you get from your partner when you bring up the name of an attractive colleague from work during conversation.

This prompt hurt my head.


16 thoughts on “Word-mangling like a boss.

  1. Sorry your head hurts. It likely caused from Post “Dramatic” Syndrome. The results of attempting to post something that everyone will respond to. It’s usually triggered by an unlikely prompt, an empty page, and a sudden and strong desire to be doing something else. : )

  2. 17 reminds me of a poem (sadly I didn’t write it, but we could pretend I did, unless that would make you hate me…)

    It’s such a shock I almost screech
    To find a worm inside my peach,
    But then what really makes me blue,
    I find a worm that’s bit in two.

    • Alas the wormy, munched in half,
      And all that I could do was laugh.
      But suddenly, my grin cut short,
      Once realised that I haven’t written a poem since I was 12 and I was really crap at it even then.

  3. Those were hilarious, I too wish I could have thought of them! I like your words too, very clever 🙂 Some of these daily post prompts are hard, and stress me out way more than they should haha.

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  6. Hawkward is brilliant and I believe you can absolutely be triple espresso smug with that one, if not for the Piesmograph which I believe would be recording a high measurement of stomach rumbling just now, as I have read the word pastry at 12:00 without the consumption of lunch as of yet.

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