In her latest post the really rather spiffy Phrogmom lifted a quote from one of her subscribed blogs “Maze A Day” ( which, incidentally, is one of those blogs where you read the “About” bit and instantly subscribe merely on it’s inspirational fabulousness ).. and the quote was this :
“There are two kinds of people, those who finish what they start and so on” Robert Byrne
Which, after I made my initial snurf-type noise ( I’m a wee tad congested at the moment, me being on my 2nd cold of the year already ) I realised with sinking heart and other internal organs that I’m a so on. I’ve always been a so on. And the peculiar thing is that if anyone else ever said to me “You’re a bit crap, you’ll never finish anything” I’d be in an uproar about it. But because it’s me, that’s ok, I’ll just take it as gospel then, thanks for pointing it out.
That annoys me. It’s the background radiation of my soul that tells me that the nuclear reactor at Self-EsteemVille went cablooey some time back and now nothing grows in the gardens there and the rats all have 2 heads and a fluorescing tail. Something needs to be done. Not on New years, not next month, not even tonight… but now. Ambition scares me, responsibility makes me hide under the duvet and pretend to be asleep, and expectations? That’s a 3-changes-of-pants deal easily. But if I don’t keep going for ME then it will always be ME that lets me down worst.
So.. here I am on Day 1.
I’ll try to post. I’ll try to take photos. I’ll try to make something arty… it doesn’t really matter. It’s the trying that counts. Not to achieve a goal ( goals scare me ) or to impress anyone ( people scare me too ) or even because I’m terrifically talented and should be a billionaire novelist dictating from a beach in the Bahamas ( that one actually doesn’t sound that bad. I don’t have a secret fear of sand or strawberry daquiries ). Then I’ll have a go at Day 2. Then possibly Day 3. And assuming I don’t crash again I shall proceed to… can you guess? And so on.
But hold on, What happens when I cock it up again? Ahhh, well the brilliance of not having a long term goal and a cazillion short term ones is that even if I screw up today there will always be a Day 1 to start again tomorrow. With a bit of luck I’ll get into double figures. Triple figures, however, would probably make my brain implode as that would be far further than I’ve ever succeeded at anything before.
Today’s goal is doing this. See how brilliantly this is going already? Hubby was all in favour of jumping straight in and writing a book, which I consider a little ambitious. It currently takes all the brain power I can muster to remember I left a cup of tea brewing in the kitchen, so character interactions might be a bit of a stretch. But I’ve been thinking about it all day and I shall continue to think about it until I can come up with something, and in the meantime I shall do this. Brace yourself for lots of Day 1’s, and thank you for not unsubscribing despite my very long period of absence.