If it’s ok with you I’d rather go without the crap in my slippers, thanks.

Imagine, if you will, a small kitten sitting at the feet of its owner, largely going without any sort of attention. It’s small, cute, warm and furry. And it knows it ( cos cats are smarter than they let on. See a “working cat” on a regular basis? No ? I rest my case. ) And yet, despite the fact that the owner *chose* the kitten, they’re not spending 24 hours a day in adoration and they’re way behind on their daily quota of stroking, ear scrunching and sly nuzzling when nobody is looking.

Kitty isn’t happy.

Don’t get me wrong, kitty knows it’s loved. Kitty knows it will be fed, but dammit… what’s a kitten to do to get a little attention around here?
I’ll tell you what.
Kitty shits in your slippers, that’s what.
Kitty will get away with it, cos you love them. But from that moment on you’ll be keeping one eye on the cat and your slippers in the wardrobe.
The moral of this gripping tale?
Sometimes you have to crap where you shouldn’t to get the response that you should.

On an entirely related note, this is today’s prompt :
“An out of control train is about to run over a pile of happy puppies, do you…”

It made me chuckle. I can recognise kitten poop when I smell it and having had cats for a long time I keep anything I don’t want used as a latrine off the floor.

Sure as little brown nuggets usually aren’t raisins this post is going to have the following responses :
1) Outraged bloggers are going to post their outrage to the perilous position of the puppies that don’t exist being potentially massacred by a train that isn’t there. There will be indignant blogging or a pointed lack thereof.
2) Bloggers with a conscience tempered with a sense of humour will show their displeasure at the thought of implied peril, but will blog about it nonetheless with a view to tingeing it with a touch of silliness.
3) Bloggers who like to entertain will turn it into a comedy.
4) Bloggers who take things literally will attempt a reasonable reply to make the best of the situation and thereby the least possible casualties. And will feel warm and fuzzy inside as a result.
5) Tech bloggers will invent a device that manages to save all the puppies, and the global fuel crisis as an encore.
6) Surrealist bloggers will view the scenario from the standpoint of an aubergine.
7) The PostADay team will be smug about the sudden peak in blogging caused by deliberately posting a provocative topic where some cute little puppies are going to end up pate no matter whatever way you cut it.
8 ) Bloggers who like to whip people up into a frenzy will relish the opportunity and blatantly post something outrageous just cos it’ll make them giggle.

My answer to the topic then?

“An out of control train is about to run over a pile of happy puppies. You are standing at the control switch and can pull the level to direct the train onto a different track, saving their lives. But that other track has a smaller pile of equally happy puppies on it.”

Mash those suckers, scoop them up and serve them for dinner. That way you end up with lots and lots of very happy reprieved chickens πŸ™‚

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10 thoughts on “If it’s ok with you I’d rather go without the crap in my slippers, thanks.

  1. Some people think the prompters thought this one up themselves and are calling them sick for it. Gotta love indignant blogging.
    Count me in the number 8 camp. Kill ’em. Kill ’em all.

    • LOL… in all honesty I pretty much love all animals ( insects, however, different matter entirely ) and wouldn’t favour one over the other.
      OK, possibly cats might come out ahead slightly… but only because I’m allergic to dogs.
      I just thought I’d sign up for 8 on this one. Think of it as a sort of pass-the-parcel game except with kitty poop πŸ˜‰

  2. I love your response. Dead on, actually. Me – I want to be in camp #3, but as I’m not that funny, I tend towards camp 4. Oh well. I am who I am. πŸ˜‰

  3. Ooh! Well if it had been kittens I’d be on the No.8 band wagon in a shot, but being puppies…I’d have gone with either 1 -6 minus the 5th. On second thought though, not even going to worry about it πŸ˜›

    Nice post though! πŸ™‚

  4. I’d be a 6. If eggplants had little hands, I’d be wringing them pathetically and wincing in anticipation of diced puppies, and yet be quite relieved that eggplants, being eggplants, aren’t really required to be the heroes in any given situation.

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