I am the Chicken Lady. Coo Coo Cachoo.

So… Chickens.

You’d think from my response that I’d never seen a chicken before, though I’ll admit that I’d calmed somewhat once we’d returned home. In fact I’d almost forgotten about it until later that evening when I was sitting with my feet up and attempting to reverse stretch marks by sheer willpower alone.
The question occurred though, “Are there a lot of chickens just free-roaming the pavements of The Netherlands?” ‘cos Hubby didn’t seem to find it in the least bit unusual. I could have been bouncing up and down screeching “Gravel !! It’s Gravel !!!” for all the interest he’d shown. Mind you, if I’d pointed at the chickens and screamed “Gravel!!” I doubt very much I’d have made it any further than the Psychiatric Department. Unlike the chickens.
Google failed me with wildly differing quotes on local chicken populations ( Oh Google, how could you? After all we’ve been through together… )so I broadened my search and skipped straight to enquiring how many chickens there are in the world.

Go on, have a guess.
Amazingly nobody has actually counted them ( how very inconsiderate ) but the closest I could get was 24 billion in 2003, courtesy of Wikipedia.
The article also went on to say that their natural roost of choice would be trees. 23 billion chickens. In trees. Can you imagine it?
Admittedly, a huge amount of those birds are going to be stuffed in crates, knee deep in their own crap, just so we can get half priced “value” chicken breasts in a plastic foam tray. But still, the mind boggles. Or my mind did, but then I’d be the first to admit it probably came pre-scrambled anyway.
I can easily come to terms with billions & billions of ants on the planet. In fact, you expect there to be purely because of the fact they’re so tiny ( Unless they live near a nuclear testing site, if the movies are anything to go by. On a side note, Hubby once told me when we first met “Did you know that when ants die they always fall on their left side?” which as pick-up lines go lacks a little…erm… everything really. It apparently worked though as we have 2 children together, so I’m either over-impressed by implausible and possibly totally fabricated “facts” or I’m just easy. )
Chickens, however, aren’t tiny. Surely with all of that poultry in the world I should have seen ONE hen clucking broodily from the boughs of the local elm trees, but no. It suddenly seemed strange to have NOT seen more of the chubby fowl out and about for a bit of fresh air.
Next time I was at the hospital I took my camera. Lo and behold, there they were again, pecking away at random gravel ( Gravel !! ) and polite  enough to pose for me. I took 15 photos. Can I find a single one? *sigh* so it’s not much of a thrilling end to Chapter 2 of the Chicken Saga. I don’t know about you but personally I’m hoping that at the very least one of the birds turns out to be either a zombie or a vampire.
Hmmm. Vampire Chicken. I should *totally* write that story.


16 thoughts on “I am the Chicken Lady. Coo Coo Cachoo.

  1. Hi, I’ve just tried the link from your e-mail and it didn’t take me straight to your post, I got a “page not found” message.
    Still found the post though, I’ll send a chicken cooment tomorrow

  2. This kinda worries me. Only 24 billion chickens on a planet of 6 billion people works out to 4 chickens per person. That hardly seems sustainable, especially if we all start eating our chickens at the same time. Say we all ate one chickens, once a week, each week. In a month there would be Chicken extinction. People hoarding chickens. People demonstrating against chicken shortages. Wars fought over stockpiled chickens. And worse of all…eggless egg sandwiches! I can see there will be no sleep for me tonight.

  3. zombie chicken is a frightening concept…you kill human zombies by damage to the head or spinal column but chickens still run around after you cut their head OFF! Also, funny you should say that today, I was just having a discussion with my brother in law about roosters laying eggs and it being the sign of the coming apocalypse but we wouldn’t have to bury survivors because they would all be zombies from eating mutant McChickens… And everyone knows you BURN zombies if anything

  4. The zombie chickens could even have Little Dead Rooster as their signature tune.
    Do you realise that the last comment was posted by someone whose name is an anagram of A.R Duck (A Random Duck) – Coincidence or what….

      • Art journalling is new to me, i had never heard of it as a phenomena until i started blogging, and saw phrogmom’s stuff. It is sort of like scrapbooking, without the pictures, but you can add pictures if you want to.

        My idea of art journalling is grounded in my art therapy training, and in the style of Carl Jung’s ‘The Red Book’. The idea of sharing my art (and bearing my soul) in a public forum completely blows me away. I know that if i was doing an artwork which i intended to put out there, i would be guarded and cautious, and for me it would not be a genuine and effective piece. I need to be free to let it all hang out.

        hehehe So the short answer is ‘no’, i haven’t contributed.

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