Warning : Eating live worms may hinder your chances at procreation. Official.

I feel truly awful for having been such a slacker with the daily blog prompts recently. I could fabricate a relatively plausible lie, but the fact is, despite being a bit busy and a little ill, I’m just excuse-making again. This is something I do on a regular basis and it’s formed a firm foundation for my life avoidance manifesto and personal procrastination-friendly lifestyle.This is just not good enough and one of the things I’m hoping to work on this year. So please forgive me if I have a few teething troubles. Getting a life can be a scary process when you’ve spent the last 40 years ducking behind a hedge whenever you see it walking down the street.

So, in an attempt to catch up I shall be answering Prompt 8 AND 9 in this entry. By sheer luck they’re very loosely related ( Maybe second cousins twice removed or something? I always found the description “twice removed”amusing. I never much liked my cousins, not even the one willing to eat live earthworms for a dare, so the thought of having them removed from my vicinity not once but twice – for added emphasis, of course – would make me smirk. On a side note, my worm-devouring cousin got married a couple of years ago after a relationship-free youth. Everyone until that point had just assumed he was gay and in the closet. I, however, knew differently. The truth was that nobody wanted to kiss him because he had worm breath. )

The prompts are : “How do you stay focused on a task or activity?” and “Describe a recent Aha! moment and what sparked it?”

The answer to the former is “I don’t” and the latter is “Aha! I probably need to do something about that… ( see answer 1 )”

I have a truly appalling attention span, I always have had. At school, despite being relatively bright, I did really badly. Or really well, considering that I slept at the back of most of my classes, if you want to look at it that way. Everyone just assumed I was lazy. Lazy! The cheek of it! I don’t like being called lazy, especially when there are so many perfectly good cop-out descriptions that are far more pleasant. Like “Domestically Challenged”. That sort of blatant disregard for my feelings will get you an instant…. well, it won’t get you an instant anything, but I will at the very least put it on my to-do list.

That’s where Prompt 2 comes in… because I really do struggle with staying focussed on anything. Not just the usual stuff everyone wants to avoid ( like cleaning the toilet ) but stuff I actually LOVE doing, like taking photos and rambling on in blogs. So last year I went to the doctors and outlined my problem. Then went to another doctor. And another. And eventually it turned out that I have a “condition” where it’s a well-known symptom to be unable to make decisions and get started on stuff. I can’t help thinking how very different my life would have been if I’d only known that 30 years ago. I might have been an achiever!

That said, my life as it stands is pretty good. Sure, it has crappy moments, but most of them I can see beforehand and manage to step round them before they mash themselves into the sole of my trainers. Life is way too short for regrets and “If onlys”. Today is as good as any day to start that new and pharmaceutically-encouraged lifestyle! One of my favourite movie quotes comes from “Vanilla Sky” and it goes “Every passing minute is another chance to turn it all around.” So why not make that minute…NOW?

OK….Now!

Erm…… Now?

Alright, some time after dinner then. Definitely.

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12 thoughts on “Warning : Eating live worms may hinder your chances at procreation. Official.

  1. love the post. i think possibly i have the same condition…anyway, welcome to the first day of the rest of your life! i subscribed to your blog so i can see how it unfolds!

    • I suspect it will unfold very slowly with random offshoots of nothing in particular… but it’s always nice to have company on the journey 😀 Hope you brought boiled sweeties though, I get carsick….

  2. LOL I love your blogging and your stream of consciousness style of writing! Actually made me laugh out loud when you talked about the “twice removed” bit. (Which is actually a very interesting point you make… why twice? 😛 )

    Found your blog through the “Blogging Buddys” page.. I subscribed.. looking forward to more fun reads 🙂

    • Hey there! 🙂 Tried to take a look at your blog, but alas… no link! Let me know, I’d love to have an in-depth nose through your life without the usual hassles of restraining orders 😉

  3. I really liked reading your blog. It was if I found a kindred spirit. Your blog reads how I think making it very comforting for me. I found your blog through the find a blog buddy post and am really glad I saw it. I of course, will be subscribing to your blog.

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